I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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