hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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