This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
