looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Randomize
