Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize