Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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