he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
