I heard we made out
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
