had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
