dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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