I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
