that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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