He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize