brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
