ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
