i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
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dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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