I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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