Kiss
Puke
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
