Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
