Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
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just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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