I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
