This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize