when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
