pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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