How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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