I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
