please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
