don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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