evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize