Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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