he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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