I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
