you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
