Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
