Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
