Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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