Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
