who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
