Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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