Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
