Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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