i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
OPIZZABONMYDICK
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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