Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
