I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
