i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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