I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
