bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize