the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
