So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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