What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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