he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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