they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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