it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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