Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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