Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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