I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
