omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
