I will die if light touches me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
