Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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