if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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