He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
