You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
