i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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