Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
